The A La Carte

Some things feel like emergencies… but actually aren’t.
They look urgent. They sound stressful. They might come with exclamation points in subject lines, text messages, or someone’s tone of voice.

But that doesn’t automatically make them a five-alarm fire.

In business and in life, there’s a big difference between urgent and important. And if you’re constantly in reaction mode, putting out “fires” all day long, it might be time to ask:

Is this really a fire… or just smoke and drama?

Recently, someone reached out to express frustration over a small detail, something simple and fixable that could’ve been handled with a quick click or a little patience. But instead, they chose to interrupt my evening to vent about it.

That evening? I was at dinner, celebrating my brother-in-law’s birthday.

Last August, my brother-in-law was badly burned in a propane tank explosion. A literal fire. For a while, we weren’t sure if he’d make it. (I’m sure I’ll share that story on here some time.)

Now, almost exactly one year later, we’re lucky to even have that dinner with him, lucky to be gathered around the table at all.

So no… the thing they were upset about wasn’t a fire.
Not in the way that actually matters.

Here are a few other things that often feel like emergencies, but aren’t:

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1. “I need this RIGHT NOW” (But do you really?)

Sometimes people mistake their urgency for yours.
Their last-minute panic doesn’t have to become your priority.

Before you drop everything, ask:

• What’s the actual deadline?
• What’s the real consequence if it waits 24 hours?
• Is this a fire, or just someone else’s forgotten to-do?

2. Inbox anxiety

A full inbox can feel like a crisis.
But 73 unread emails isn’t a fire, it’s a filter issue. A boundaries issue. Maybe a systems issue.

Not an emergency.

Start by asking:

• Am I letting other people’s priorities run my day?
• Do I need to respond, or do I just feel like I should?

3. Social media slip-ups

The post didn’t go out. It had a typo. It wasn’t shared to every platform under the sun.
Breathe.

Unless you’re managing a crisis comms team or launching a major campaign, it’s probably okay.

• Fix it.
• Learn from it.
• Let it go.

Not everything needs perfection to be effective (read done is better than perfect.)

4. Someone else’s stress

Sometimes people pass their panic to you because they don’t know what else to do with it.
But their anxiety doesn’t have to become your action plan.

Your job isn’t to absorb their urgency, it’s to stay grounded.

Be the calm in the room. Let them burn out their spark without dragging you into the smoke.

5. Your own internal pressure

Let’s be real: sometimes we are the one that’s yelling fire.

That thing you said “has to be done tonight” might not.
That pressure to be perfect? Manufactured.

Ask yourself:

• Is this urgent, or just uncomfortable?
• Am I creating urgency to feel in control?

You don’t have to earn your rest.
You don’t have to finish everything to deserve peace.

If everything’s a fire, nothing is.

The work is learning to pause. To breathe. To assess.
And to know the difference between what’s actually burning…
and what just looks smoky from a distance.

Next time your brain (or a client, or your inbox) starts yelling “emergency!” try asking:

• Is this truly urgent?
• Does it need me, right now?
• What really matters in this moment?

Because some things feel like fires.
But the real ones? You’ll know.

Thanks for being here.
If this post hit home, feel free to share it with someone who’s been doing a little too much smoke-jumping lately.

Or just take a breath, close the laptop, and know…
you don’t have to put out every flame.

xo,
Ande